We married in Canada on Thanksgiving Day!

Click here for our most recent newsletter.

We celebrated Thanksgiving differently than we ever have before...we drove 5 minutes over the border into Canada from our home in Blaine, WA, and were legally married!

We were initially legally married in McMinnville, OR, by Baptist Minister, Rev. Bernie Turner, on March 7, 2004. At that time, we had already planned our spiritual wedding ceremony for July 31st, 2004.(we were married by Rev. Dr. Lisa Davison, professor of Old Testament at Lexington Theological Seminary and Rev. Dr. Bill Stayton, Executive Director of the Center for Spirituality and Sexuality). When Oregon extended marriage equality to same-gender couples, however, we seized the day. Click here for our story leading up to and including these events.

Unfortunately, in November 2004, the state of Oregon changed their constitution, which had always read that "marriage is between two consenting adults", to "marriage is between one man and one woman." They made the amendment to the constitution retroactive, so in April 2005, we received a letter from Multnomah County that said, "Your marriage is null and void." Along with that letter came a refund check for $60, the cost of our marriage license. Even though they took away our legal status, we were still married because our spiritual wedding is one half of the two part marriage equation choice in our country. (legal license and/or spiritual wedding ceremony).

We had high hopes and really felt confident that we would be coming back home from our year-long journey throughout America, and be able to marry legally in Washington. This is important because of how it affects us relative to our home, hospital visits, and the 1100+ legal rights we are unable to have. (Because our constitution offers the wonderful law of the separation of church and state, religious institutions are not impacted by a civil marriage license). Unfortunately, on July 26th, the Washington State Supreme Court upheld the ban on marriage equality (that would include us) with a 5-4 vote. After this disappointing ruling, we decided to go ahead with our original plans from July 2004, and cross the border into Canada to be legally wed.

With Thanksgiving being our favorite holiday, and with so much to be thankful for, we couldn't think of a better day than to get married again!

Unlike our spiritual wedding on July 31, 2004, this one in Canada was small. Our good fortune was not only that we could be legally wed, but that our close friends, Robert & Kathy Reim (State PFLAG Chair, and Christian parents of a lesbian daughter whose wedding Dotti officiated in July) from Sedro-Woolley, WA, had planned several months ago to "get-away" for Thanksgiving, so they had reservations for a hotel in Vancouver, and plans for a special dinner out. When we found out they were going to be in Canada for Thanksgiving, and they found out that we were going to be married in Canada on Thanksgiving, we were all ecstatic! Robert and Kathy were honored and happy to stand with us as our witnesses, and we were touched and delighted by their loving presence. We also had two other good friends, Anne Adkins and her 15 year old daughter, Kendra (who took pics)join us, for a grand total of four guests, one marriage commissioner, Rylee Joy (our standard poodle) and the two of us. Rylee missed out on our previous two weddings, so she insisted on being the ring bearer for this one! And she did a beautiful job, sporting a rainbow scarf and a rainbow beaded necklace with a little pouch that contained our wedding rings. She even helped Robynne open the pouch when it came time for the ring exchange. It couldn't have been more delightful.

Click here for pic of wedding party.

Click here for pic of Rylee Joy with rings.

Click here for pic of me and Roby.

After the ceremony, Robert and Kathy treated us to a lovely dinner at Sam's Cafe, on the waterfront in White Rock, Canada. We love the spirit and kindness of the owners, Hal & Barbara. When we arrived at Sam's, Hal wasn't there, but his wife, Barbara was. She escorted us to "our" table, which was beautifully decorated with a white linen table cloth, candles, confetti, a dozen gorgeous deep pink roses, and a "Congratulations on your wedding" helium balloon. In addition, they had the most beautiful love songs playing softly in the background.

After Barbara got us settled at our table, she said, "Hal's not here... he'll be back in a few minutes... he had to go home and change his clothes, because he was running around getting your balloon, and picking out your roses. He wanted to make it so perfect for you!" When Hal did arrive, he came over, hugged us and said, "I knew just what color roses I wanted for you, and I picked them out special just for you!" The picture below has us with Hal, and Robert and Kathy.

Click here for pic at restaurant.

At the end of our meal, we were interviewed by radiogay.ca, sharing about our marriage in Canada. The interview was supposed to be at 7:30 (PST). Unfortunately, for some reason, the call went to our voice mail instead of ringing. Thank goodness Tim and Herman persevered and tracked us down by calling the restaurant! Because of that, our interview was a little shorter than orgianlly planned. We just received this note from Tim Chisholm, Co-Creative Program Director and Producer: "Your interview can be heard in a rebroadcast of UNGLUED! this Sunday, Nov. 26th from 12 noon to 2pm (PST). Your interview is in the last half hour segment of the show; roughly 1:35pm or so." You can click here to listen. We will be meeting face-to-face soon with Tim to discuss the possibly of working together in the future. Stay tuned!

Tim also let us know that they will be interviewing Lars Clausen this coming Tuesday evening (Nov, 28th)around 6:40 pm(PST)during their Tuesday Tickle Crew show. Lars is the Lutheran minister whose journey, Straight Into Gay America, was a catalyst for ours. Go to radiogay.ca and check out Lars!

Interestingly, our neighbors, Brad and Dinah, (who were one of several neighbor couples who cared for our home while we were on our journey), married in Canada in September. The difference between our marriage and theirs is that when they crossed back over the border into the U.S., their marriage is still legally recognized. Ours is not. The U.S. and Canada have a reciprocal agreement. So what's the difference? Canada honors ALL marriages, but the U.S. has refused to do the same, now that Canada offers marriage equality for same gender couples. On the radio show, we also talked about our year long journey GayIntoStraightAmerica that began on September 11, 2005. Our intention was to engage hearts and minds, create authentic connections, and dissolve differences that separate us as we talked with people who are "wrestling" with their understanding regarding people's sexual orientation and gender variance.

So... although we did not have turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, cranberries and pie, or gather with family, we did have the most wonderful day. It was truly a Thanksgiving we'll never forget... celebrating love & friendships, renewing vows of commitment, and enjoying delicious food. It doesn't get much better than this! We are blessed, we are grateful, and we are very happy.

Melodie Beattie's words sum up our holiday perfectly: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

We hope that Thanksgiving was as meaningful to you as it was to us! Let us know how you spent this special day, and what you are grateful for!

The light in us honors the light in you, Dotti, Robynne, and Rylee Joy Berry-Sapp