Tarnishing my reputation...a reminder from my mother

Today is a special day. Five years ago, Roby and I spoke by phone, and never quit talking. We initially met on December 8, 2001, but life situations for both of us did not create interest in one another at that time. When we spoke on March 17, 2002, something changed. It was the first time we had spoken by phone since we met.
As they say, "The rest is history."

Roby and I left for Colorado Springs on March 12, prepared to “face the judge” on March 14 for our act of civil disobedience at Focus on the Family on February 19, 2007.

As we were approaching the airport in Seattle, I called my mother to let her know the details of what was gong on. At one point, she asked, "Why do you want to tarnish your reputation like that?"

Her comment gave me food for thought. I replied that I believe I am insuring that my “reputation” will be a good one, following in the footsteps of those like Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, Dorothy Day, Gandhi, Corrie Ten Boom, Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Jesus, each refusing to be silenced when justice for all is at stake. I treasure the opportunity to stand in the tiniest shadow of these individuals, for my path is not nearly as difficult as theirs, but it is mine. And I can do what I choose with that path. I am creating my own legacy with which I can feel hopeful about our world. A "tarnished reputation" never felt so good!

Later, I came across a sermon, Investing our Lives, by friend and Quaker minister, Philip Gulley, causing me to think more deeply. He asked,

“What would happen if instead of resolving to make our own dreams come true, we invested our lives in making the dreams of others come true?”

Philip went on to say,

“This is what Jesus did. To read the Gospels is to encounter a man whose chief aim in life was enhancing the lives of others. He did this with such single-minded devotion and joy that people who later studied his life said that if God were to ever become a person, Jesus is what God would look like. This is true of all the great spiritual leaders—Buddha, John Woolman, Gandhi, King, Dorothy Day. Their chief aim in life was to enhance the lives of others. You do that, and when you die, people are going to say that God was fully alive in you. What a legacy that would be!

Think of the joy this world would know if instead of resolving to make our own dreams come true, we invested our lives in making the dreams of others come true.”

This is the legacy to which I aspire…making the dreams of others come true as I do Whatever It Takes to create equality and justice for ALL people, inclusive of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons. Having criss-crossed the country during the last year and a half, I have heard many, from all walks of life, talk about this dream of equality and justice, not as a theory, but as a reality. They spoke their heart dreams of celebrating unique differences, while not allowing those differences to separate us, admitting that they sometimes were not sure how to go about achieving that. That they were dreaming of the possibility is enough to motivate me. Ironically, investing my life in making this dream of others come true, also makes my own dream come true. Isn’t that how it sometimes works?

When we returned home, a note from our faithful friend and ally, Peggy Campolo awaited us. She reminded us to read Romans 15:13.

Ironically, I looked it up on the internet (much easier than going to my Bible when I was already online) and found the following picture with the verse, appropriately displaying a rainbow, and sent a “heart card” to Peggy from us.



Peggy’s note took me back to my conversation with my mother. Mom replied that she was “old,” when I asked her if she realized that a senator’s wife, Emily Leighton, risked arrest and jail to fight for her right to vote. The law, finally passed in 1920, was three years before my mother was born (she will be 84 on March 28, 2007, and is fit as a fiddle). Mom replied “Yes, I do.” I then asked her, “Mom, do you think that that lady ‘tarnished her reputation?’ ” Mom said, “Oh, it was so long ago, I can’t remember everything about it.” I said, “Mom, you don’t have to remember the details of what happened, just that it did. You admit that you remember the situation. I am asking you if you think she tarnished her reputation by being arrested and going to jail so that you could have the right to vote.” I told my mom, “Mother, you may consider yourself ‘old,’ but I do not.” A person is never too old to learn, unless they refuse to learn. I then thought about all of those historical individuals who used their Power of One to access and impact the Power in ALL of Us, risking their reputation, “tarnishing it,” in order that others, such as Marilu Johnson (my mother), and me and all the rest of the world might have freedoms. Indeed, as Dr. King said, “None of us are free until all of us are free.”

Click here for a link to a Social Studies lesson plan for grades 5-8 about women’s right to vote, a law that was passed three years before my mother was born in 1923.

If kids aged 10-13 can “get it,” shouldn’t my mother be able to learn something new, by connecting the dots to understand this how this basic civil right relates to the one that I, as her lesbian daughter, seek?

At the end of our conversation, I asked my Mom if she would have fought for the right for women to vote. She momentarily hesitated before replying, "That's not my nature." I agreed with her and said, "But, Mom, it is my nature. I would have been out there with the Iron Jawed Angels, risking arrest, jail, and my 'reputation' to insure that you could vote." Because these women did risk all, not only can my Mom, Marilu Johnson, vote, but her daughters, Dotti Berry & Becky Grant can vote. As well, Becky's daughter, Julie can vote. Additionally, my brother's wife, Vicki, can vote.

None of us is ever too old to learn. None of us are free until all of us are free. Thanks to all of those who have gone before me, investing their lives in making the dreams of others come true.

Namaste, Dotti