Jerry Falwell & Yolanda King...Two Individuals who impacted society

Last week, I was at presenting at the transgender conference, Esprit, when I first heard that Rev. Jerry Falwell had died. When I heard the next day of the passing of Yolanda King, I couldn't help but think how, in different ways, both had so profoundly impacted my life. Yet, with my daily schedule last week of offering groups to SO's (significant others) and transgender couples, plus activities at night, there was no time to sit down and pen my thoughts. Perhaps it was better that way. I needed to mull my feelings and sit with them.

One day apart, we lost two humans who impacted our society in major ways. Now you might not see any connection between the two, but the best way I can describe it is through the words from a great song by Aretha Franklin, where she says,

R E S P E C T…
Find out What It Means to me!

Communicate with respect if you want others to hear you. The essence of Unconditional Respect is:

Everyone is as they should be.

Every human’s identity is LIFE, their form is HUMAN, respect
that.

Don’t try to respect toxic behavior. Try to understand toxic behavior. Then you can learn how to stay unattached to a specific outcome regarding both situations and people, and choose to reside in the space of love vs. fear, thus enhancing your opportunity to feeling expanded and open vs. feeling disappointed, depleted, and closed.

Reality is a shared space. Control of that reality is also shared. Everyone has a subjective reality that appears “real and right” to them.

Jerry Falwell and Yolanda King had different subjective realities. Jerry's, though harmful in many ways to me and people in my community of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, seemed real and right to him.

I respect Jerry's human identity, while also understanding, rather than respecting, his toxic behavior that denigrated, without sound reasoning, an entire community of people.

Dont miss this blog we also wrote: Jerry's Kids: How Falwell empowered the GLBT community.

Al Gore recently quoted an African proverb at the Tribeca Film Festival that says, "If you wish to go quickly, go alone. If you wish to go far, go together." Then he builds on it. "We have to go far, quickly." He was introducing a series of environmental films that will be shown at Live Earth. "We have to make it through an uncharted region, to the outer boundaries of what's known, beyond the limits of what we imagine is doable." Then he recited a famous line from the poet Antonio Machado: "Pathwalker, there is no path. You must make the path as you walk."

The reporter writing the article said, "I once heard him get tangled in that line during the 2000 campaign, but this time, he wasn't trying too hard."

Gore continued, "We must find a path that we create together, quickly," he said. "With truth force. To seize the opportunity that lies before us."

The reporter continued, "His words were simple, direct and powerful. One clue to how he found that power lies at the end of the poem, in a line Gore doesn't recite, as the poet reveals his desire 'to be what I have never been ... a man all alone, walking with no road, with no mirror.' "

What Gore said could also be said about the journey of our community (including allies) and those who would disagree that equality for people, inclusive of those with sexual and gender variance, is a civil rights issue.

I believe that we need to walk quickly together in this arena as well. But I believe that we can each be one another's mirror, sometimes reflecting who we are not, so that we can become who we were meant to be. Jerry Falwell, like my family, offered the perfect mirror for me to evolve and grow into my authentic skin.

It all began with Gandhi, a major political and spiritual leader, who pioneered "Satyagraha"(truth force or soul force), the resistance of tyranny through mass civil disobedience, firmly founded upon "ahimsa" or total non-violence, which led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. This philosophy extended to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who worked to free our country from its archaic separation of people due to race. It deeply influenced his daughter, Yolanda King, and the journey she would take in her life.

Yolanda King urged people to be a force for peace and love, and to use the King holiday each year to ask tough questions about their own beliefs about prejudice.

"We must keep reaching across the table and, in the tradition of Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King, feed each other," she said.

The non-violent "satyagraha" philosophy was then embraced by Rev. Mel White, who used it to begin the organization Soulforce, confronting the spiritual violence of Rev. Jerry Falwell.

As Mahatma Gandhi so eloquently spoke,"Action expresses priorities."

Jerry Falwell's actions spoke volumes about his priorities. So did Yolanda King's. So do Mel White's. And it is clear that their priorities are entirely different.

May your priorities be reflected in actions that reach across the divide to bridge the polarization of any differences that separate us, offering equality and justice to all people.

The irony of Jerry's misplaced priorities is a lesson for all of us.

Namaste, Dotti