Unsung Heroes

Unsung heroes are similar to Stand Up Speak OUT Wind Changers in that they truly made a difference. What is unique about them is that they are no longer with us, and the impact of their lives often has gone unheralded. They were Stand UP Speak OUT Wind Changers in their era, the unsung heroes throughout history. These people went the extra mile to create equality and justice for all people, even when it created personal hardships because it wasn't the popular thing to do. Below are a few we have discovered. Some are individuals who are part of the discriminated group; others are allies for those who endured discrmination. An article about Unsung Heroes by Howard Zinn, a columnist for The Progressive, gives examples of historical figures we can truly admire and emulate.

Juanita Hairston, on April 1, 1944, made a name for herself and helped start a movement. Read how Civil Rights Came Slowly, Softfly to Colorado Springs. It might have been April Fool's Day in 1994, but Juanita was no fool. She was smart enough to take action for justice years before it all began in other parts of the country. She is a new hero to us, and a reminder of why we do what we do.

Obed Dickinson was a pioneer preacher of First Congregational Church in the 1850's and 1860's. His 14-year tenure was embroiled in controversy because of what was referred to as "Negro sympathy." What was he doing that so infuriated some folks? He invited black into the church, baptized them and married them. He was criticized for being so brazen. And, to top it off, he continued to preach about the sings of slavery, despite recommendations that he stop. Click here to read the "rest of the story."

We feel so inspired by these individuals...They were truly people ahead of their time in making a difference for us, for you, for everyone. It is often easy to get wrapped up in what is not happening the way we want it to happen, getting attached to a specific outcome, creating fear and disappointment. When we read about Juanita and Obed, we are reminded of the importance of staying the course, planting the seeds of change. When they come to fruition is not something we are privy to knowing. Doing the right thing, regardless of the consequences and unattached to a specific outcome, propels us forward each day.

Contact us if you know of an unsung hero who needs highlighting. Or, if you know of a great person who is truly a Stand UP Speak OUT Wind Changer, let us know about them!

Peace...not just for tomorrow, but for today. Dotti & Roby

When are we going to quit shooting ourselves in the foot?

Time and again, people in our community want to have our cake and eat it too. When we are with a partner, some have children together in a relationship they profess to be a "life-long commitment." They work for marriage equality and rights for their partner to adopt, etc. THEN...they break up and the biological mother attempts to deny the partner the opportunity to continue being part of the child's life. Some try to work the system both ways. In mixed gender relationships, this doesn't fly. In order for our community to gain credibility, this has to stop. We can't have it both ways.

Read this article about what happened in Georgia, where a lesbian woman is fighting her former partner in an attempt to keep her from having visitation rights with the child.

WHEN WILL IT STOP? United Methodist Church continues to "say one thing" and "do another."

The Methodist launch a 1.5 million dollar ad campaign.

The TV message is entitled “Finding Yourself,” and is the latest component of The United Methodist Church’s “Open hearts. Open minds. Open doors.” media campaign.

“Through this commercial, we are encouraging people to find themselves as they show others what’s really going on inside. In doing so, they can find a path to God within a loving community – the people of The United Methodist Church,” said the Rev. Larry Hollon, chief executive of United Methodist Communications.

The commercial features various people exhibiting one face to the outside world, but wearing a screen that functions as a window to their hearts and shows what they are really feeling.

It is designed to appeal to thoughtful, intentional spiritual “seekers” 25-54 years old.

Ok, there are two ironies here...one is that they continue to "claim" "Open hearts. Open Minds. Open doors." How can they make such a claim when the United Methodist church supports inisters who have said to gay people (like myself), "You can't join our church." The other irony is that they are wanting to appeal to "thoughtful, intentional spiritual 'seekers' 25-54 years old." Well, I am indeed a spiritual seeker in the sense that it is the core of who I am, and will be for the rest of my life, as I continue to evolve and grow in my spiritual nature. AND...I AM 53 YEARS OLD! Yet, they have said, "No, you can't be a part."

Hey, I don't make this up. These are just the facts of what has happened. You draw your own conclusions. I am tired of groups that "profess" one thing and do another. At least I have been willing to be honest about who I am. It is more than I can say for the United Methodist church and their hypocrisy.(as a whole...not individual churches are are welcoming, affirming and celebrating us, nor those individuals who are doing the same). I know that those inside who feel this way are just as tired of this scenario as I am. When enough of them, however, get tired of the position in the back of the bus, they will stand up and speak out, and the power of the multitude will bring down the wall, just like it did in Germany.

Let the United Methodist church hear from you! Blessings, Dotti

Giving light to a dark situation

Frank Lockwood, who interviewed me regarding my situation of having being denied membership at Centenary United Methodist Church in Lexington, KY, in 1999, gave me the opportunity to write more about it on his blog. Here's what I said:

Frank Lockwood first contacted me in December, 2006, regarding my situation of having been denied membership by Rev. David Thomas at Centenary United Methodist Church in Lexington, KY. Though the experience no longer lingers in my mind on a daily basis as it did when it first happened, Frank's unexpected call jolted me like a time machine back to 1999. As difficult as it was, that experience served as a spiritual marker for moving me to places emotionally and spiritually that most likely would have remained unknown had it not happened. For that, I feel grateful. Some of my life situations, which have sparked a personal evolution to a higher understanding and consciousness, are not ones that I would have willingly chosen, but I feel truly blessed for the end result. Don't we all sometimes want an easier path? I am living the life that I always imagined, one that is far richer than the religious box within which I was raised and within which the United Methodist church as a whole exists even today. I did not feed the need to defend my self worth as a sacred part of our universe; I filed the complaint to hold the United Methodist church accountable. Using biblical scriptures to spiritually violate people and wield control over them is never ok. Every day, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals encounter similar situations, and yet, many simply turn away in either shame or anger, without voicing their pain of being diminished and silenced by a group that claims to lift up and empower people.

I know that my journey has taken me deeper into my relationship with the divine nature of God, because I have not allowed anger and disappointment with the United Methodist church to steal what is most precious to me...a deep and abiding faith in the goodness of people, life and God. I often call upon my understanding of Jesus and what he faced when friends and family betrayed him, knowing that I am capable because he and others like Gandhi, King, Alice Paul and Rosa Parks paved the way for me. In the end, Jesus went to the cross because He wouldn't shut up. He was one of the first "radical activists," acting from a place of love that few understood then or now. My kind of man, yes...Jesus is my kind of man. The impact from my involvement with Soulforce and non-violent process since 1999 is indisputable, and has much to do with the difference between where I am today and where I was then. My desire is neither to humiliate or diminish the United Methodist Church. I hope that I am a person with ubuntu.

Ubuntu: " A person with ubuntu is open and available to others...affirming of others...and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished." Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Click here for the details and importance of this situation in shaping my life, and to learn how I respond today regarding this situation.

Bible Belt Blogger

Nearly seven years after the fact, the rejection of Dotti's application for membership in Kentucky's largest Methodist Church hits the media.

Dotti says, "Rejection of gays and lesbians isn't confined to Kentucky and Virginia. There's no telling how many times it happens. Most people tuck their tail and leave. They either live in shame or in anger. Fighting the decision often seems futile. It took a lot of time and energy to go through that process."

Berry says she's gone public with her story for a reason. "The point is not to embarrass and humiliate anybody. It's to call attention to the harmful rhetoric because it really does harm people," she said.

Please check out http://www.biblebeltblogger.com for the full story, and for more interesting stories!

Know who you are!

Dotti: I will admit that I lean more toward jazz (Diana Krall) than deep-throated heavy rock, but there is one thing that I can lean toward with Chris Daughtry, who apprently placed fourth in the 5th season American Idol. His comments caught my eye in a USA Today article on 3/21/07. Not only did he negate his "losing" by "winning" with his 1.9 million in sales, far surpassing that of Idol winner Taylor Hicks' 653,000 in sales, his other comments transcend music and ring true:

"If people say something rude or off-color, you have to take it with a grain of salt, because they don't know you...Nothing on the show hurt my confidence. Part of that is knowing who you are. It's harder to be consistent, because you'll keep changing to please a certain judge. Then nobody knows who are. They're trying to figure out which is the real you. I made sure that didn't happen. That's one reason I did so well. I didn't let them sway me or change me in any way. I think that's the key to anything in life: You have to know who you are."

Can I learn from a hard rocker? You bet! Can't we all?

We know who we are. Dr. Dobson doesn't, and therefore doesn't define who we are. We are sticking with who we know ourselves to be, rather than concentrating on who he isn't. If we each do that, all of the potential within us will be manifested.

This provides a great segue into an email we received from a friend today. We love these opportunities to clarify and create understanding. Why? Because this discussion is important to understand exactly "why" we would go inside Focus on the Family to lovingly confront Dr. James Dodson and why it is necessary.

Well ladies ....I hate to break this to you, but with Dr. Dobson you are screaming at the deaf. He can't hear you and bullies don't liked to be pushed ....frankly we could all hang out on the lawn or in the building for the next several years and without a divine intervention...total change of heart and mind...we are all just one more of those pesky Soul Force "homosexual activists" that are harassing and out to get him. He probably talked about it on his radio show and rallied the troops with a long version of "I am Poor misunderstood Dr. Dobson". The great and mighty powerful OZ. Just remember while change comes to many, he has a lot to lose...that empire needs an emperor. He likes his kingdom too much. Please save your money and trips to court...we'll pray from afar...I'm just glad they didn't throw the book at you, It probably would have been one of Dobsons!

We can't force people to love us or like us....we gotta love ourselves and just know that God loves us as is,,,,when that sinks in who cares what Dobson thinks. He's not God! He will probably continue what he has been doing forever...but we can hope and pray but trying to force him into submission is futile. He is a very stubborn man. Please take care of yourselves and stay outta jail! He's not worth it.

Our response back?

Please keep in mind that we don't go to change Dr. Dobson. We love ourselves enough to go and risk the potential rejection, because we know it is the right thing to do. We go to transform ourselves. And it is worth it. Why? That is the essential core of non-violent process. To give up hope (he's not worth it) is the greatest act of violence we could commit against Dr. Dobson. The uninformable (Dr. Dobson and those who believe like him who have not chosen to be open to another understanding at this point) are not our focus.

Our journey around America has been dedicated to the movable middle, the uninformed (which includes our own community who are silent), who, with new information and understanding, will shift to the "informed." So, we address and lovingly confront the uninformable as a tool for educating the "uninformed" in the movable middle. Understanding the dynamics of this core principle is the key component in understanding the use of creative and constructive tension; otherwise, one would get frustrated at "Dr. Dobson not changing" and feel fear and disappointment when that specific outcome did not materialize. Since that is not our goal, what happens with Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family does not trigger us in any negative way. The very act of doing what we do (to transform ourselves) removes that potential negative trigger, along with the desire that Dr. Dobson must "change." To believe that what we are doing is trying to "force him into submission" really misses that inner workings of non-violent process.

As it has worked through history, creative and constructive tension eventually causes Dr. Dobson and others to come to a new understanding, and make a new choice out of their own free will, not from being forced into submission. Forced submission never changes anyone from the inside out, and that type of change is the kind that sticks.

Bring back Dr. King, Rosa Parks, Alice Paul, and others and ask them if they should have saved their money and trips to court, and I believe you know the answer. Dr. Dobson is merely another in the line of history, playing the same role of those from the past, such as George Wallace. He is Saul stumbling along the path, not "seeing" that what he is doing to harm others. When he has his moment, and his conversion to Paul happens, it won't be because of any type of forced submission. It will be his enlightened understanding that helps the scales fall from his eyes. His potential is there.

The wall in Germany needed the same dynamics. When the movable middle people left behind their "uninformable" status, the mass of people became educated and understood, and they created the change, and no emperor or system or anyone could stop it. It created a momentum of its own, like a snowball going down hill, picks up steam and causes an avalanche. The "old way" lies burried beneath the rubble, with the light of dawn ringing in a new day when it all settles.

The same happened with George Wallace and the same "potential" lies with James Dobson. Why you believe we are doing the "Focus on the Facts" campaign is colored by your perspective, but for us, how you see it is not based in our reality of why we are truly doing what we are doing. Hope this continues to explain and help you better understand. We believe this is an important discussion and clarification process.

She wrote back to say that, bottom line, she wrote her email when she was feeling "tired, frustrated, and spent." Hey, we can relate! And this is how we wrote her back:

Thanks for your response. This is why we (all of us sharing back and forth) have to remind each other, so that we can lift up and support one another on those frustrating days ... I thank you for the opportunity, because it allows us to help clarify for others "why" we are truly doing this! In fact, it gives us a great way of sharing with others, since they be have similar feelings that you expressed. That is why this discussion is SOOOOOO important, so we thank you from the bottom of our hearts! The more we all understand the power of unified spirit and its impact on the potential of the journey upon which we have all embarked, the better! I know your frustrations are felt by each of us at times. Thanks for articulating them.

Don't let Dr. Dobson steal one ounce of your precious energy.

We encourage ourselves and each of you in the same way. Don't let ANYONE steal your energy. KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

The light in us honors the light in each of you, Dotti & Robynne

Rev. Al Mohler causes a firestorm with comments

To say Al Mohler's blog article on March 2, 2007, Is Your Baby Gay? What If You Could Know? What If You Could Do Something About It? caused all "hell" to break loose on both sides is an understatement. Why? The evangelicals accused Mohler of conceding that "homosexuality" is genetic, which is what the evangelicals count on not being true so that they can say we "choose" our "homosexual lifestyle." (Note the quotes around "homosexual lifestyle" and click here to see how the religious right and others have co-opted this term to denigrate gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons). The GLBT community accused Mohler of wanting to "genetically" tamper with babies in utero if it was determined that the unborn was going to be gay.

Then an Associated Press article, Furor Over Baptist's Gay-Baby Article, by David Crary, AP National Writer, followed on March 14, 2007, brought it to national attention in newspapers throughout the country. We read it in the Colorado Gazette while we were in Colorado Springs to "face the judge" for our Feb. 19 arrest at Focus on the Family for an act of civil disobedience.

Mohler denies that either side has it right and wrote a follow-up article on his blog, Was it Something I Said? Continuing to Think About Homosexuality. He seems flabbergasted at the firestorm, starting out the article,

"I must admit much frustration about the way many in the media have handled the issue. Headlines proclaimed "Seminary President Says Babies Born Gay" -- something I neither believe nor said. Other articles and reports claimed that I suggested that homosexuality may be genetic in origin and that genetic therapies should be used to create customized and corrected babies. I never even mentioned genetic therapies or germ-line experiments, and I am adamantly opposed to genetic therapies of such a sort -- real or hypothetical. Reading these reports and headlines was a painful and exasperating experience. If I believed those things attributed to me, I would not agree with myself and would condemn myself."

For some of you, this might be like saying "Who's Waldo?" when everyone else was playing that game "Where's Waldo" as they looked for Waldo in a picture. So, if you are thinking, "Who's Mohler?" keep reading. He is the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky.

How do I believe we need to approach this situation? I have said for a long time that our argument that "we are born this way" is the wrong one. Why? The truth is we don't know WHAT causes sexual orientation, homosexual or heterosexual, or gender identity. True, most of us become "aware of who we are attracted to," and that natural attraction (which, indeed, is not "chosen," but is an aspect of ourselves to which we become aware) defines our sexual orientation as being either homosexual (attracted to same gender) or heterosexual (attracted to opposite gender) or bisexual (if we are attracted to both genders). Likewise, gender identity happens "between the ears." It is the sense that we have of ourselves as either male or female. Sometimes, that sense of ourselves does not equate with the biological equipment with which we were born.

Why am I mentioning this? I have encouraged our community to elevate the arguments above the level in which they are normally rooted, the one of saying "We are born this way" so that people will not in any fashion be able to accuse us of "choosing" either our sexual orientation or gender identity. The problelm with this approach is that we are feeding right into the hands of the religious right. This week, we got a glimpse of how that is starting to shape up.

I believe that we need to rise above the hooks and triggers to say, "It is curious to understand more about how sexual orientation and/or gender identity occur, but it doesn't matter HOW it happens, discrimination is wrong...period!" Cut to the chase. I don't become defensive if people say I have "chosen" to be who I am. It doesn't bother me at all. Frankly, I feel that "who I am" is a gift to the world, just like it is for any other person, and that I honor and respect myself. A person should not be discriminated against merely on the basis of sexual orientation, whether that is homosexual or heterosexual, or on the basis of gender identity...period...no matter "how" it occurs. Again, discrimination is wrong...period!

Back to what has happened this week. If you missed what caused the "flap," read what Mohler said at the end of Is Your Baby Gay? What If You Could Know? What If You Could Do Something About It?

"Christians must be very careful not to claim that science can never prove a biological basis for sexual orientation. We can and must insist that no scientific finding can change the basic sinfulness of all homosexual behavior. The general trend of the research points to at least some biological factors behind sexual attraction, gender identity, and sexual orientation."

My thoughts? Well, I think that Mohler stays abreast of ALL the current research involving homosexuality. He and others now realize that they are losing the battle regarding society (especially young people) accepting AND celebrating people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender, just like they would any other human being. They are losing control and they don't like it. That means that they now have to change direction regarding their approach. They are now pitting "moral" choices against one another. See how he weaves that in his response article which I previously mentioned, Was it Something I Said? Continuing to Think About Homosexuality.

As long as he is considering the dynamics involving weeding out a child for being gay, it brings up other questions. What if people want to "choose" a gay child. What happens if they turn out to be heterosexual? Will they be able to sue their doctor? Or, vice versa. Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out makes gives some great food for thought regarding some of the dynamics that Mohler might want to re-consider, now that he is opening up Pandora's box. Click here to read.

In another generation, this will all be over. The majority will come to realize, much like the civil rights era, that this over arching disminishing of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people was a horrific tragedy and unnecessary in a free country. As in the past, there will be apologies.

One last article that he has written is called The Compassion of Truth: Homosexuality in Biblical Perspective. I don't know about you, but if this is "compassion," I don't need any.

Check out the articles and let me know what you think.

Namaste, Dotti

Tarnishing my reputation...a reminder from my mother

Today is a special day. Five years ago, Roby and I spoke by phone, and never quit talking. We initially met on December 8, 2001, but life situations for both of us did not create interest in one another at that time. When we spoke on March 17, 2002, something changed. It was the first time we had spoken by phone since we met.
As they say, "The rest is history."

Roby and I left for Colorado Springs on March 12, prepared to “face the judge” on March 14 for our act of civil disobedience at Focus on the Family on February 19, 2007.

As we were approaching the airport in Seattle, I called my mother to let her know the details of what was gong on. At one point, she asked, "Why do you want to tarnish your reputation like that?"

Her comment gave me food for thought. I replied that I believe I am insuring that my “reputation” will be a good one, following in the footsteps of those like Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, Dorothy Day, Gandhi, Corrie Ten Boom, Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Jesus, each refusing to be silenced when justice for all is at stake. I treasure the opportunity to stand in the tiniest shadow of these individuals, for my path is not nearly as difficult as theirs, but it is mine. And I can do what I choose with that path. I am creating my own legacy with which I can feel hopeful about our world. A "tarnished reputation" never felt so good!

Later, I came across a sermon, Investing our Lives, by friend and Quaker minister, Philip Gulley, causing me to think more deeply. He asked,

“What would happen if instead of resolving to make our own dreams come true, we invested our lives in making the dreams of others come true?”

Philip went on to say,

“This is what Jesus did. To read the Gospels is to encounter a man whose chief aim in life was enhancing the lives of others. He did this with such single-minded devotion and joy that people who later studied his life said that if God were to ever become a person, Jesus is what God would look like. This is true of all the great spiritual leaders—Buddha, John Woolman, Gandhi, King, Dorothy Day. Their chief aim in life was to enhance the lives of others. You do that, and when you die, people are going to say that God was fully alive in you. What a legacy that would be!

Think of the joy this world would know if instead of resolving to make our own dreams come true, we invested our lives in making the dreams of others come true.”

This is the legacy to which I aspire…making the dreams of others come true as I do Whatever It Takes to create equality and justice for ALL people, inclusive of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons. Having criss-crossed the country during the last year and a half, I have heard many, from all walks of life, talk about this dream of equality and justice, not as a theory, but as a reality. They spoke their heart dreams of celebrating unique differences, while not allowing those differences to separate us, admitting that they sometimes were not sure how to go about achieving that. That they were dreaming of the possibility is enough to motivate me. Ironically, investing my life in making this dream of others come true, also makes my own dream come true. Isn’t that how it sometimes works?

When we returned home, a note from our faithful friend and ally, Peggy Campolo awaited us. She reminded us to read Romans 15:13.

Ironically, I looked it up on the internet (much easier than going to my Bible when I was already online) and found the following picture with the verse, appropriately displaying a rainbow, and sent a “heart card” to Peggy from us.



Peggy’s note took me back to my conversation with my mother. Mom replied that she was “old,” when I asked her if she realized that a senator’s wife, Emily Leighton, risked arrest and jail to fight for her right to vote. The law, finally passed in 1920, was three years before my mother was born (she will be 84 on March 28, 2007, and is fit as a fiddle). Mom replied “Yes, I do.” I then asked her, “Mom, do you think that that lady ‘tarnished her reputation?’ ” Mom said, “Oh, it was so long ago, I can’t remember everything about it.” I said, “Mom, you don’t have to remember the details of what happened, just that it did. You admit that you remember the situation. I am asking you if you think she tarnished her reputation by being arrested and going to jail so that you could have the right to vote.” I told my mom, “Mother, you may consider yourself ‘old,’ but I do not.” A person is never too old to learn, unless they refuse to learn. I then thought about all of those historical individuals who used their Power of One to access and impact the Power in ALL of Us, risking their reputation, “tarnishing it,” in order that others, such as Marilu Johnson (my mother), and me and all the rest of the world might have freedoms. Indeed, as Dr. King said, “None of us are free until all of us are free.”

Click here for a link to a Social Studies lesson plan for grades 5-8 about women’s right to vote, a law that was passed three years before my mother was born in 1923.

If kids aged 10-13 can “get it,” shouldn’t my mother be able to learn something new, by connecting the dots to understand this how this basic civil right relates to the one that I, as her lesbian daughter, seek?

At the end of our conversation, I asked my Mom if she would have fought for the right for women to vote. She momentarily hesitated before replying, "That's not my nature." I agreed with her and said, "But, Mom, it is my nature. I would have been out there with the Iron Jawed Angels, risking arrest, jail, and my 'reputation' to insure that you could vote." Because these women did risk all, not only can my Mom, Marilu Johnson, vote, but her daughters, Dotti Berry & Becky Grant can vote. As well, Becky's daughter, Julie can vote. Additionally, my brother's wife, Vicki, can vote.

None of us is ever too old to learn. None of us are free until all of us are free. Thanks to all of those who have gone before me, investing their lives in making the dreams of others come true.

Namaste, Dotti