Know who you are!

Dotti: I will admit that I lean more toward jazz (Diana Krall) than deep-throated heavy rock, but there is one thing that I can lean toward with Chris Daughtry, who apprently placed fourth in the 5th season American Idol. His comments caught my eye in a USA Today article on 3/21/07. Not only did he negate his "losing" by "winning" with his 1.9 million in sales, far surpassing that of Idol winner Taylor Hicks' 653,000 in sales, his other comments transcend music and ring true:

"If people say something rude or off-color, you have to take it with a grain of salt, because they don't know you...Nothing on the show hurt my confidence. Part of that is knowing who you are. It's harder to be consistent, because you'll keep changing to please a certain judge. Then nobody knows who are. They're trying to figure out which is the real you. I made sure that didn't happen. That's one reason I did so well. I didn't let them sway me or change me in any way. I think that's the key to anything in life: You have to know who you are."

Can I learn from a hard rocker? You bet! Can't we all?

We know who we are. Dr. Dobson doesn't, and therefore doesn't define who we are. We are sticking with who we know ourselves to be, rather than concentrating on who he isn't. If we each do that, all of the potential within us will be manifested.

This provides a great segue into an email we received from a friend today. We love these opportunities to clarify and create understanding. Why? Because this discussion is important to understand exactly "why" we would go inside Focus on the Family to lovingly confront Dr. James Dodson and why it is necessary.

Well ladies ....I hate to break this to you, but with Dr. Dobson you are screaming at the deaf. He can't hear you and bullies don't liked to be pushed ....frankly we could all hang out on the lawn or in the building for the next several years and without a divine intervention...total change of heart and mind...we are all just one more of those pesky Soul Force "homosexual activists" that are harassing and out to get him. He probably talked about it on his radio show and rallied the troops with a long version of "I am Poor misunderstood Dr. Dobson". The great and mighty powerful OZ. Just remember while change comes to many, he has a lot to lose...that empire needs an emperor. He likes his kingdom too much. Please save your money and trips to court...we'll pray from afar...I'm just glad they didn't throw the book at you, It probably would have been one of Dobsons!

We can't force people to love us or like us....we gotta love ourselves and just know that God loves us as is,,,,when that sinks in who cares what Dobson thinks. He's not God! He will probably continue what he has been doing forever...but we can hope and pray but trying to force him into submission is futile. He is a very stubborn man. Please take care of yourselves and stay outta jail! He's not worth it.

Our response back?

Please keep in mind that we don't go to change Dr. Dobson. We love ourselves enough to go and risk the potential rejection, because we know it is the right thing to do. We go to transform ourselves. And it is worth it. Why? That is the essential core of non-violent process. To give up hope (he's not worth it) is the greatest act of violence we could commit against Dr. Dobson. The uninformable (Dr. Dobson and those who believe like him who have not chosen to be open to another understanding at this point) are not our focus.

Our journey around America has been dedicated to the movable middle, the uninformed (which includes our own community who are silent), who, with new information and understanding, will shift to the "informed." So, we address and lovingly confront the uninformable as a tool for educating the "uninformed" in the movable middle. Understanding the dynamics of this core principle is the key component in understanding the use of creative and constructive tension; otherwise, one would get frustrated at "Dr. Dobson not changing" and feel fear and disappointment when that specific outcome did not materialize. Since that is not our goal, what happens with Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family does not trigger us in any negative way. The very act of doing what we do (to transform ourselves) removes that potential negative trigger, along with the desire that Dr. Dobson must "change." To believe that what we are doing is trying to "force him into submission" really misses that inner workings of non-violent process.

As it has worked through history, creative and constructive tension eventually causes Dr. Dobson and others to come to a new understanding, and make a new choice out of their own free will, not from being forced into submission. Forced submission never changes anyone from the inside out, and that type of change is the kind that sticks.

Bring back Dr. King, Rosa Parks, Alice Paul, and others and ask them if they should have saved their money and trips to court, and I believe you know the answer. Dr. Dobson is merely another in the line of history, playing the same role of those from the past, such as George Wallace. He is Saul stumbling along the path, not "seeing" that what he is doing to harm others. When he has his moment, and his conversion to Paul happens, it won't be because of any type of forced submission. It will be his enlightened understanding that helps the scales fall from his eyes. His potential is there.

The wall in Germany needed the same dynamics. When the movable middle people left behind their "uninformable" status, the mass of people became educated and understood, and they created the change, and no emperor or system or anyone could stop it. It created a momentum of its own, like a snowball going down hill, picks up steam and causes an avalanche. The "old way" lies burried beneath the rubble, with the light of dawn ringing in a new day when it all settles.

The same happened with George Wallace and the same "potential" lies with James Dobson. Why you believe we are doing the "Focus on the Facts" campaign is colored by your perspective, but for us, how you see it is not based in our reality of why we are truly doing what we are doing. Hope this continues to explain and help you better understand. We believe this is an important discussion and clarification process.

She wrote back to say that, bottom line, she wrote her email when she was feeling "tired, frustrated, and spent." Hey, we can relate! And this is how we wrote her back:

Thanks for your response. This is why we (all of us sharing back and forth) have to remind each other, so that we can lift up and support one another on those frustrating days ... I thank you for the opportunity, because it allows us to help clarify for others "why" we are truly doing this! In fact, it gives us a great way of sharing with others, since they be have similar feelings that you expressed. That is why this discussion is SOOOOOO important, so we thank you from the bottom of our hearts! The more we all understand the power of unified spirit and its impact on the potential of the journey upon which we have all embarked, the better! I know your frustrations are felt by each of us at times. Thanks for articulating them.

Don't let Dr. Dobson steal one ounce of your precious energy.

We encourage ourselves and each of you in the same way. Don't let ANYONE steal your energy. KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

The light in us honors the light in each of you, Dotti & Robynne