What lessons do Imus, Dobson, Va. Tech and the war in Iraq offer us?

Yes, this is our first blog during April. A lot has happened in our world during the last few weeks...from people's feelings about our confronting Dr. Dobson being a hopeless situation, to more deaths in Iraq, to our own travels and speaking in Oregon, to more deaths in Iraq, to the Imus situation, to more deaths in Iraq, to the killings at Virginia Tech, to more deaths in Iraq, to many people questioning whether or not the media should have aired the video from a killer who so desperately wanted a media platform for his manifesto that he overnighted his package containing perverted violence in between the first shootings and his second rampage, to more deaths in Iraq. When will it end? Are there lessons to learn?

During this time, we have written and and written, and then stopped short of finishing some writing, feeling at times overwhelmed. We back up now to share some of our insights, as well as some responses to comments from folks.

In our March 22 blog, KNOW WHO YOU ARE, we shared comments from a friend, acknowledging the importance of her questions and conversation. Clarification and understanding regarding "why" we approach Dr. Dobson is necessary and important.

Her comments from that blog began with

Well ladies ....I hate to break this to you, but with Dr. Dobson you are screaming at the deaf."

Her comments remind us that Dr. Dobson has indeed refused to meet and/or talk with us; however, but we also recognize that the deaf can "hear us" if we continue to implement creative ways for communication.

We've also since discovered that we aren't the only ones with whom Dr. Dobson is not talking. Cara DeGette first wrote this article, More Skirmishes Likely At Focus HQ, the week after our arrest on February 19, 2007.

A comment in the article from Gary Schneeberger, and repeated below, provides the very "monologue" that we have been hearing for over ten years, as Focus on the Family refuses to have any dialogue with Soulforce.

"We’ve heard what they’ve had to say, and they are not interested in dialogue — they are interested in monologue," Schneeberger says.

Sounds like the same tactics that Rev. Ted Haggard used. Call attention to what you don't like by calling it exactly what you are doing.

The above article then led to her next one, Focus on the Burning Bridging, detailing how she has been shut out, permanently it appears, from Focus on the Family speaking with her any longer.

Cara says,

"I’ve been 86’ed by Focus on the Family. Again. That’s right, after a sometimes on, mostly off-again 14-year relationship, the Christian ministry and media empire has notified me that it will never, ever, ever, deign to be interviewed by yours truly again. I’ve burned all my bridges, I’m told, the ones that connect readers with the massive ministry that is headquartered in northern Colorado Springs.

My crime? Well this time I really did it. I accurately quoted their spokesman. That's right. Accurately.

Here's how it happened: Last week, Colorado Confidential reported on an incident involving two lesbians who were hauled away by Colorado Springs cops on Feb. 19, after they refused to leave Focus on the Family. They wanted a private audience with the ministry's founder James Dobson, to talk to him about his position on homosexuality."

So, check out Focus on the Burning Bridge to read "the rest of the story." Her article was later also carried in the Colorado Springs Independent.

Michael de Yoanna, with the Colorado Springs Independent, interviewed us when we returned to Colorado Springs to face the judge. You can read his article, Focusing on ...Focus: Recent Soulforce arrest at Springs campus portends campaign to come.

Amazingly, when we wrote our blog, KNOW WHO YOU ARE, the Imus incident had not happened. Who could have foreseen the national conversation that would happen?

That is why it is important for us to continue being the gift that we are, whether that be with Dr. Dobson or with friends and family. We never know when the tipping point will happen. Hindsight will simply inform us that it has occurred as we observe the results of it.

And how could we have known that Russell Simmons, the founder of Def Jam Records who brought hip-hop into the American mainstream, was about to release his book, Do You! 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success when we wrote that blog? Our theme of Live Authentic...Whatever It Takes! resonates with his belief that "It's the practice of listening to your inner voice," not the money that matters.

Russell says. "I think that all of us know that there's a source that connects all of us. You can call it God if you want, or whatever you call it, the idea is that there's a voice inside you. There's something that connects us all and when you're in touch with that, it allows you access to anything in the universe."

Our hearts feel heavy for all that has recently happened. The Imus situation has been handled, with the impact of his toxic rhetoric publicized for all to see, and for him to feel through an inperson meeing with Coach Vivian Stringer and the Rutgers' women's basketball team. Those who supported him in the past said, "No more!" and we got to see up close and personal that sometimes there are consequences of such rhetoric that diminishes others. Unfortunately, people are not yet connecting the dots between the poisonous rhetoric of Imus and that of Dobson. While Imus lost his career, Dr. Dobson continues to receive a national media platform to bolster his toxic rhetoric. There is a stigma to being both racist and heterosexist. There is no stigma to being homophobic and heterosexist. The killings at Virginia Tech were abhorrent, but are over, though the impact of them will continue forever. That more deaths in Iraq continue to happen daily seems like there is no end in sight to a senseless war.

What lessons are we learning? What lessons are you learning? We must each search our hearts for understanding.

That's it for this blog. We will catch up more tomorrow.

May you seek peace through love, leaving fear behind...Dotti & Roby